Distractions

'I wish I could somehow
Go back in time, and maybe listen to my own advice'

Little Mix

If you had the choice of half a box of chocolate right now, or a full chocolate box in 2 weeks, which would you choose?

How about if you had a choice of half a box of chocolate in one year, and a full box in a year and two weeks?

Which then?

For the former, most people admit they would give in to temptation now, instead of waiting 2 weeks.  Especially if it was in front of them all of the time.  Imagine the aroma, the thought of the taste.  

For the latter, most people would say ‘I could wait that extra 2 weeks!’.  Why?  

“Because in the future, we are wonderful people!”  Dan Ariely

My latest blog is about how we live in the present.  Something we are very much encouraged to do - carpe diem and all that.  The past is gone, all you have is now.  This is great.  

 However it doesn’t help us with our goals.

We all have goals.  We set them to achieve them.  But... we don't have the tools to succeed for difficult goals, because your main decision-maker, you, lives in the present.  This leads to abject failure and self-loathing, in extreme cases.

Think about what you would say to your old self.  Say from ten years ago.  If you could give that person advice, what would you say?  That makes your current self, your ‘future-self’ in their eyes.  This future-self has all the answers and knows exactly what to do to succeed.  Do we listen to this person?  Of course not!

Enjoying your present leads to a great past.  Working hard in the present leads to an enjoyable future.

We have to look back from our future self.  Learn to listen to future self and not present self.  Present self lives on impulse.  Future self condones self-discipline.

The secret of success - achievement of goals -  is to listen to your future self only.

In the present we say

• I don't want to go to the gym
• I'll eat that doughnut
• I enjoy smoking, why quit?

Too often we wait until our present is miserable by something out of our control like illness. THEN we do something about it.

God and the doctor we like adore,
When in danger, but not before

Whereas if your future self was around, in charge, you'd have a tough regime to follow of daily gym sessions, fantastic diet, daily study of your most self-improving subject area, mastery and practice of that musical instrument you've always wanted to play, and that bucket list will have some ticks on it, instead of blanks.

Would that give you a happy present?  No, you'd be permanently exhausted!  So a balance must be struck.  At the moment, present-self is in total charge and the balance is all in his favour.  

Make him relinquish some of that power.  Listen to your future-self at least half the time.  Now you're aware - have a listen.

What would your future self say?  That's easy. What would you say to yourself of ten years ago?

Like in the song, what would you say if you could go back in time and listen to your own advice?

Whatever that is will be what your future self in 10 years would say to you right now!  

Whatever it may be, you have to listen to your own advice and follow it.

Is it do that course you always wanted?

Is it get to the gym and get into real shape?  Run a marathon?  Ten?  

Whatever it may be, and it will be personal to you, your future self is telling you to do it, just like you would tell your old self from 2, 5 or 10 years ago.

What's your greatest achievement?

Your future self would probably beg you to improve yourself, to do your best at everything, because he knows something you don’t.  You can be sure of that, because you would have acted differently in the past if you knew then what you know now, right?

To quote that song again

“Wish that I knew back then, what I know now.”

Once we’ve decided we must listen to our language very carefully.  I’ve calculated the percentage probability of a completion of a task from our statements about it.  Here are some below.

‘I hope I can do it’ - Percentage Probability of Completion = 0.1%

‘I’ll try to do it’ - Percentage Probability of Completion = 0.5%

‘I’m thinking of doing it’ - Percentage Probability of Completion = 0.9%

‘I’m going to do it’ - Percentage Probability of Completion = 1.4%

‘I’ll do it tomorrow/later/in the future’ - Percentage Probability of Completion = 2%

‘I want to do it’ - Percentage Probability of Completion = 4%

‘I’m doing it’ - Percentage Probability of Completion = 97%

‘I did it’ - Percentage Probability of Completion = 100%

Make sure you only use those last two in your language.  A friend of mine said to me ‘I’m thinking of going for a run later...’ The next day, I knew the answer, but I asked anyway.  Of course he didn’t go.

To do lists are useless as they are just a version of these statements.  You need to write a 

‘I AM DOING’ list and then just follow it.

For me, I'm writing my maths e-books I have promised myself for over 2 years.  At last!  I believe it's a great method for understanding maths easily.  But locked in my mind it's not so great.

Colonel Chris Hadfield, Commander of the ISS and all-around awesome dude has this advice:

Don’t look back, that’s not where you’re going.  True, but have a look to see what you would have told yourself.

The power of negative thinking, where you think about all the possible bad things that can happen, act to do something about them, and remove your worries.

Sweat the small stuff (take care!)


Maintain attitude - keep going towards your goal, no matter what the distractions.

Feeling Good

... and The Cheryl Cole Paradigm


“Sleep in peace when day is done, that’s what I mean.”

Nina Simone

“Bye! Take care!”

That’s what my Aunt says to me when I leave her house.  It would always annoy me.  To me, it implied that the world is dangerous and I should be careful, even frightened of it.  I used to admonish her, “You shouldn’t say take care”, I’d moan.  And she looked put out. 

Now I welcome it.  And thank her wholeheartedly.  In fact, to anyone who says it, I respond “Thank you!! You too!”, because, I think now that ‘Take Care’ has another meaning. 

Take care of your appearance.

Take care of your health. 

Take care of your possessions. 

Take care in your work. 

Take care of everything you do.

And it serves as a reminder to do the right thing.

There are three advantages to it, I believe.  One, your life will become richer as your invest your heart into what you are doing.  Two, the world around you will notice that you take care of things and it may well engender their trust.  Three, the things you do will increase in quality.

“In this business, you want to be known as the Master or the Caretaker.  I’m known as ‘The Master’”.  So says the bodywork specialist, at McLaren supercars, whose job it is to make sure that their cars' exterior is perfect.  Do you think he will ever be out of a job with that attitude?

A ‘caretaker’ is seen as a lowly job with a free brown coat.  Actually, being known as the person who takes care is the highest honour with which you could be bestowed.  If you look at successful people, they take care over everything. 

Looking good, feeling good

Someone who reminds me of this is Cheryl Cole.  Yes, she’s pretty attractive and all that.  But she is also a paradigm of perfection.  Never a hair out of place.  You never see her unprepared.  She takes care.  So, people find her attractive.  It’s a virtuous circle.

I took care over a little project recently.  It took me little effort really.  But my project stood out and impressed the person who saw it.  Because I had taken care over it.  That was all.

In the maths books I write, and in my tutoring, I take exceeding care to get every word and nuance correct so the student floats through a world of understanding, pleasure, entertainment and regular penny-drop sensations, which leaves them wanting to continue.

Another phrase is ‘be careful’.  We take it to mean…’watch out!’.  But, literally it says ‘be full of care’.  That is a perfect statement and an audacious goal.  If we did everything in this way, taking care of the result; our homes would be cleaner, tidier, more organised.  As would our lives.

If we take care over every job we do, we will become known as the Caretaker.

We would feel good, and sleep in peace when day is done.

Take care.